Hearts and Emotions
by JJKMagic
Summary: XigDem Day Fic: Number IX is new in the Organization and when he almost got used to being ignored and alone there was someone who approached him... XIGDEM. YAOI, FLUFF.


I did it! Yeah, my own little share of the XigDem Day fics^^

Enjoy!

**Warning: Yaoi, Fluff.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own... as always~**

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**Hearts and Emotions**

Life in the Organization is difficult, especially if you're new and everyone tends to avoid you…

Just like Demyx…

Number IX was barely able to cope with the fact what had happened to him quite a while ago nor that this strange guy had suddenly talked to him not even that he was now… part of a strange organization.

They… or rather _he_, Xemnas, had given him a few days to get used to everything, to get to know everyone. Hah, as if anybody would be talking to him!

He was his usual happy self, even if he was somewhat intimidated… yet he was completely ignored most of the time or even made fun of by certain other members. Perhaps that was just like them but for Demyx's confused self… it just hurt.

He felt alone… but it had been like this for a while, actually as long as he could remember but at least he had been able to talk to someone, normal people, _Somebodies_. But now he was just a Nobody, a Nobody ignored even among other _Nobodies_…

And this lonely Nobody felt like crying though he didn't show it. No one would notice the change in his expression, how his constant smile disappeared and his sparkling eyes dulled.

And that was also the state the young Nobody was in when he was sent to his first mission. Fighting? Him? Even spiders were able to scare him and now they sent a clueless musician like him to kill… _Heartless_? He didn't even know what Heartless were! He had heard of these creepy shadow-like creatures before but…

"Oi, kiddo!"

Huh? Barely anyone would ever talk to him… but still it was obvious that this, _his_, dual-black haired superior had meant him.

"Y-yeah? What is it… Xigbar?"

Right, Xigbar, a rather attractive member of the Organization if you asked Demyx. The Number II of the Organization was experienced and had such a natural kind of humour that it really attracted the blond even if he hadn't had much more contact with him than with any other member...

By now the older member had approached and quickly, and unexpected, slung an arm around the blond's shoulder.

"Eh, just wondering what'cha up to," Xigbar replied in his typical nonchalant way.

"Uhm… going to… take care of my mission?" the blond said unsurely.

And his superior laughed.

"Nothing to be 'fraid 'bout, you know? Eh, I'll accompany you, kid. Showing you how it goes…" he declared before Demyx even got the chance to say anything. Not that he would refuse of course, so the only thing that really bothered him was…

"Really? Don't you have… better things to do?"

"Nah, helping you is the best I can do right know, right?" he replied grinning, smirking… whatever. If Xigbar was in a good mood (he was most of the time), you could never tell the difference between a smirk, grin or a smile…

X X X

No, no, no, this was the _end_!

Demyx stumbled, flailing with his arms, but ended up on the ground anyway, black shadows enveloping him… He surely didn't see it but he heard, even if he didn't consciously realize it, his superior appear next to him.

And while he was still whimpering, seeing nothing but his unavoidable death, the sun reappeared in form of a hand, offering him to help him up again.

A single honey yellow eye gazed at him, even with the other eye covered by an eyepatch, his expression clearly showed worry and sympathy.

"You alright, kid?"

Demyx just nodded in reply and took his hand, too amazed that actually someone thought about saving him.

He found that Xigbar was different…

X X X

And Xigbar was just that kind of different that Demyx needed. He was attentive and appreciated a good joke where other Nobodies wouldn't even see one.

Demyx didn't know why Xigbar had approached him that day but he was glad._ Xiggy _was just what he had needed even if he would rather not have him know that he secretly called his superior that. But this man was just what the cocky and arrogant Axel, the reserved Zexion or even the science fanatic Vexen weren't: willing to talk to him and explain what the blond needed to know and even willing to listen to his own little theories and even to _his music_.

No one in this castle seemed to appreciate music but Xigbar would listen to him when he played in the dim light of Kingdom Hearts shining above the castle.

And just that was what they were doing at that moment, Demyx playing and his ever-loyal companion, since _that day, _listening to him.

"Hey… Dem-Dem?" Xigbar asked softly, waiting for the blond to stop and look up.

"Yeah? What is it?" Demyx replied, watching him curiously.

"What do you… _feel _when you play these songs?"

The blond blinked… blinked twice… and looked down.

"I don't feel anything… I mean I _can't _feel, right?"

His superior's eye darkened but Demyx didn't see it.

"Then what do you _think _when you play those?" Xigbar reworded his question.

"I… uh, I-I don't really know, Xiggy"

And Demyx cringed, noticing his little mistake immediately while Xigbar just looked confused and then laughed, making the blond look up tentatively.

"When did you come up with that nickname?" he asked amused.

"Uhm… right after you started calling me Dem-Dem?"

Xigbar ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Eh, that's cute, Dem-Dem." And he smiled, yes Demyx was pretty sure he smiled…

X X X

Another silent night, the same heart-shaped moon above their heads in that same empty city of a world that never was…

And you could hear it in the blond's song, the same monotonous melody, just rarely were the tunes speaking of happiness or any other feeling… but at least his music still reflected what he was _feeling_, reflecting his _boredom_, his _resignation_.

He sat on the railing, playing the same song over and over and Xigbar just stood there, apparently lost in his own thoughts.

"Demyx?"

The blond's hands stopped immediately, oceanic blue eyes looking up at him. It was actually strange when Demyx thought about it. He hadn't heard his own name from his superior in a long time but he didn't let it irritate him.

"Yeah?"

"I like you"

Huh? What was that all of a sudden? Demyx didn't get it so he simply replied like he would normally. "I _like _you too, Xiggy."

His superior sighed, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "That's not what I meant, you know? I _really _like you, Dem-Dem."

Demyx just blinked, a habit of him that showed he tried to cope with a piece of information he had just received.

"You… but I, _we_…" Demyx stuttered and even if Xigbar was able to put together almost everything the blond said, that wasn't enough of an answer for him.

"What do you _feel_, Demyx?" his superior asked, a honey yellow eye staring right into those oceanic blue depths full of confusion.

"I… I don't know… I- _we _can't feel," the blond replied, feeling guilty.

"That's nonsense!" Xigbar growled, grabbing the blond's hands and thus pulling him into a standing position; a blue sitar landing with a _thud _at their feet.

Demyx only blinked.

"You believe him, don't you? You believe him like everyone else! But why do you believe that losing our hearts is bound to lose _all _of our emotions as well?" Xigbar was upset and for the first time the gaze of that yellow eye frightened Demyx and he looked away.

"I don't know… I don't know anything," he whispered.

A strong hand tilted his chin up, forcing the blond to look at him, an expression full of anger and yet unreadable intentions.

"You don't have to know, you don't even have to think! You have to _feel!_" a dark voice told him, words echoing in the blond's mind as their lips met. A soft kiss, perhaps even _meaningless_, but slender arms wrapped around the older male's neck, pulling himself closer into the kiss, into that _sweet oblivion_.

A tongue asking for entrance that was gladly given and they felt they didn't care if this was true or just a _phantom_. They broke the kiss, feeling the need to breath and their gazes met, wordless and still telling something incredibly important.

"What 'bout know?" Xigbar asked softly and the echo of a question resounded in the blond's mind. _,What do you feel?'_

A smile was the only answer he got, a _smile _was the only answer he _needed_.

_A smile… and a second kiss…_

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Yay, fluff! xD

I rather like this little fic~

**Tell me what you think^^**


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